Perfect Father

Today was not a good day, I don't really want to go into details about all that went wrong but I can say Lily screamed her head off for about two hours straight.  Even now I'm sitting in the nursery waiting for her to finally fall asleep.  While she was screaming and oh so very upset I realized something.  I realized that I want to be the perfect mom and know exactly how to calm Lily down when she's upset but I can't.  I can always try my hardest but I can never know exactly what to do.  And beyond that I will not be the perfect parent, I'm going to screw up just like every parent before me has.  No one likes to admit they've screwed up or they will screw up, but you have to face it, we all screw up.  But as I was trying to calm Lily down I also realized there is someone who is always going to be there for her and never screw up.  She has a perfect father and I'm not talking about Dave.  She and I and everyone has a perfect father, whether they accept it or not God is always there for us, his children.  I just pray that someday she'll come to know him and realize that even though Dave and myself aren't perfect, God is.  He loves us no matter how much we screw up, he accepts us back.  And oh how I know I've screwed up but he's always let me come back with open arms.  God may punish us at times but every parent has to punish their kids at times, it's the only way that we'll grow and learn what is right and wrong and how we are supposed to act.  I am completely in charge of Lily's future.  What I do now can and will affect her for the rest of her life and that's a scary thought.  If I mess up I'm not just messing up myself, I'm possibly also messing up her life.  Every interaction, every meal, every nap could be changing her, possibly very subtly but everything has an impact on her.  I just continue to pray everyday that I'm making the best choices I can.  I want to make the most of every moment and every opportunity I'm given with her, so that she will turn out to be just an amazing woman someday and I just can't wait to see who she becomes (well, maybe I can, babies are so adorable, a ton of work but I know it's all worth it).
PS.. I can't believe how fast she's growing up, I need to embrace this baby time while I have it because before long she won't be a little baby anymore, but to Dave and I she'll always be our little baby girl.